SaaS - Sopranos as a Service

A Vercel Edge Function that analyzes your notifications, picks the most fitting Sopranos character based on the message's sentiment, rewrites them in that character's voice, and posts them to Discord with matching GIFs.

Features

• Analyzes message sentiment via Claude Sonnet to pick the best-matching character:
  • Tony Soprano — authority, power, leadership issues
  • Paulie Walnuts — paranoia, suspicion, conspiracy
  • Christopher Moltisanti — drama, existential crises, creative problems
  • Silvio Dante — strategic issues, loyalty, being pulled back into things
  • Uncle Junior — disrespect, old-school gripes, health complaints
  • Bobby Baccalieri — gentle problems, food, wholesome concerns
• Rewrites the message in that character's voice via LLM
• Searches Tenor for relevant Sopranos GIFs based on character and message severity
• Posts to Discord webhooks with character avatars and embedded GIFs
• Severity-based color coding (critical=red, error=light red, warning=orange, info=blue)
• Falls back to random character selection if no API key is configured

API Endpoint

POST /api/notify

Analyze a notification's sentiment, pick the best-matching Sopranos character, rewrite the message in their voice, and post to Discord.

Headers:

• x-saas-destination (required): Discord webhook URL

Body (JSON):

{
  "message": "Server CPU usage at 95%",
  "source": "monitoring-system",
  "severity": "critical"
}

Fields:

• message (required): The notification message to rewrite
• source (optional): Source of the notification (shown in embed footer)
• severity (optional): One of info, warning, error, critical

Example Request:

curl -X POST https://your-deployment.vercel.app/api/notify \
  -H "Content-Type: application/json" \
  -H "x-saas-destination: https://discord.com/api/webhooks/YOUR_WEBHOOK_ID/YOUR_WEBHOOK_TOKEN" \
  -d '{
    "message": "Database connection pool exhausted",
    "source": "postgres-monitor",
    "severity": "error"
  }'

Response:

{
  "success": true,
  "character": "Tony Soprano",
  "originalMessage": "Database connection pool exhausted",
  "rewrittenMessage": "Whaddya gonna do? The database connections are all used up. It's like the garbage business - sometimes you run outta trucks.",
  "gifUrl": "https://media.tenor.com/..."
}

Environment Variables

Set these in your Vercel project settings:

Variable	Required	Description
OPENROUTER_API_KEY	No	API key from OpenRouter. Without it, character selection is random and messages get a catchphrase prefix instead of a full rewrite.
TENOR_API_KEY	No	API key from Tenor. Has public fallback.

Deployment

1. Install Vercel CLI: npm i -g vercel
2. Clone this repository
3. Run vercel to deploy
4. Set environment variables in Vercel dashboard

Local Development

npm install
cp .env.example .env.local
# Edit .env.local with your API keys
npm run dev

Discord Webhook Setup

1. Go to your Discord server settings
2. Navigate to Integrations > Webhooks
3. Click "New Webhook"
4. Copy the webhook URL
5. Use it in the x-saas-destination header

License

MIT